Mid calf skirt, collared shirt - perhaps with a sweater. high heels and the obligatory pearl necklace. The uniform of 1950-s sitcom housewives. Always ready to receive guests or collect the packages/milk from the occasional delivery boy. Hair perfectly done for the day before even thinking of waking up her beloved family. A bit much for every day? Perhaps. Or maybe not. Maybe when women started wearing pants and (god forbid) kept the pearls tucked away for special occasions, it was the beginning of what I saw today. If so, I am begging you - bring back the skirts and pearls ladies!! Because the story I am about to tell you is both horrifying, and true.
Once upon a time (today) in a far away land (Charlotte) a young (40 - ish) woman and her precious (OK, that's true) daughter went to the world's greatest store - Super Target. She only needed to pick up a few things for a birthday party and also buy a pair of shorts from a lady in the parking lot. (But that's another story.) This "young" woman was not by any means dressed up, but did manage to put on....clothes. This may seem like an obvious conclusion that you didn't need to have told to you. That is not true. For you see friends, in front of the (OK we'll stop calling her young) woman there were two friends. They appeared to be in their 30's. They seemed nice, and friendly. And they also looked as if someone had forced them out of bed at gunpoint, refusing to allow them to so much as look at a hairbrush before dragging and shoving them to the local shopping center. However, since these woman seemed happy enough, that can't be what happened. Therefore, I have come up with my own scenario as to how such a thing would happen. I am fairly certain this is exactly how it occurred:
Friend One arrives at Friend Two's home. Friend Two "Oh, I'm so sorry! I must have overslept! I am not ready for our weekly trip we make together to "the Target"! Hold on, let me get dressed!" Friend One- "No worries, you look fine!" Friend Two - "Really? You don't think anyone will notice my rather tight, pajama shorts with the little flowers on them? And you think this men's undershirt is good? I mean, sure you have one on too with YOUR fancy pajama bottoms, but your has SLEEVES. So you know. It's fine. Even with those stains there. And there. And over there." Friend One - "It's all good! Just throw on a short jean jacket over the top. Don't worry about buttoning the jacket either." Friend Two - "OK, well, this shirt is see through and wow - REALLY tight, I'll just go get on some sort of undergarment." Friend One - "No, no. You're being silly! It's JUST Target! Nobody dresses up for Target!" Friend Two - "Well, if you say so. But I will just go ahead and fix my hair. I see you are still sporting yesterday`s ponytail, but maybe I'll brush mine." Friend One- "Nah, just put a cute cloth wrap over that shower cap you have on. It'll be presh!" Two minutes later..... Friend Two - "Ok, let me grab my shoes." Friend One "Why? Those slippers look so comfortable. And they're moccasin style, so I don't think anyone can tell they are slippers. You look great! Let's go out in public, because this isn't at all strange!"
So there you go. Somewhere along the way, women's daily attire got a little - bad . We've gone from skirts and cute sweaters to shower caps and slippers. We need to fight this ladies. We CAN look cute AND shop for toothpaste. You SHOULD look in the mirror before going out in public. I am not asking you to wear pearls and heels to the store..... but I am asking you to wear pants.
